So it’s been a while.

“contentType”:”text”,
“contentExcuse”:”I’ve had a lot on?”

Well there’s no point is there? Most of it is down to laziness. Although a reasonable chunk was working on an app I’ve been developing with my brother for the last… I’ve lost count. At least 200 lattes ago. Speaking of the sibling, he’s started writing his own blog. So naturally I had to return to mine to prevent him from upstaging me. Or moreover, it reminded me how therapeutic I had found my own. And unfortunately I’m in need of some therapy again.

My brother’s blog is a different kettle of fish*, more aimed at projects than the inner ramblings of a diseased mind. He’s learning a new language. Not French, not German, not heaven forbid Latin (too many ums, a very indecisive language), but the language of computers, that of coding. But in looking at the structure of this new ‘language’, I began to see the unexpected elegance of it. Learning a few simple rules, you can write anything. No other language is that obliging and will insist on throwing feminines and masculines at you or suddenly pulling the rug out from under you (screw you ‘except after c’).

*such an odd phrase. I’m going to look up its origins.

There are of course a lot of different code languages, but they all follow a similar structure. So I wondered if it could have other applications elsewhere. Because I’m looking for a new – now ‘language’ isn’t the word, more like a new ‘system’ – to get me through the next few weeks. It’s a very busy time for me and certain personal complications and increased work hours with my other job have made it a particular strain. To sum up, I’m struggling to ‘find the happy’. But if I could develop a code that I could apply to myself to inject moments of happy, then I think I can get through it without turning into a human puddle. So let’s break it down into what I imagine my brother’s new language to look like, but is definitely woefully inaccurate:

“Life”:[
{
“chapterTitle”:”Chapter 1: Stress”,
“chapterPages”:[
{
“pageTitle”:”It’s not looking good”,
“storyContent”:[
{
“contentType”:”text”,
“content”:”How on earth am I going to stay positive through this shit show?”
}
],
“transitions”:[
{
“transitionText”:”Survival Strategies”,
“transitionTarget”:”Happy”

Perhaps combining the content principles of coding with the application of an equation would be better? I was never very good at all that, but I could give it a try.

So if we input things that make me happy or what we call our ‘SmileContent’ and rotate these things on a weekly basis, would that work?

Ok, so here’s a list of things that make me smile even when I’m feeling down:

• Giving my cat an ear rub (this is a risky pick as said cat has to be in right mood).
• Flowers on a sunny day (again risky as weather-dependent).
• Foot rubs (best enjoyed when administered by someone else, but I suppose I could improvise).
• An unexpected painting (unexpected in the sense you weren’t expecting to see a work of art and then you stumble across a really good one, not unexpected art in the sense of I dropped my spaghetti and the shape it made on the floor inexplicably formed a relief of the last supper).
• The sight of Dachshunds walking (particularly long-haired ones).
• ‘Isp’ noises – words that end in isp are the most pleasing to my ear, crisp, whisp, go on, say a few, I’ll wait… See?
• Feeling like I’ve helped someone. Will be difficult this month as my usual weekly volunteering will have to go on hold as I need my Monday’s free to tech shows. Luckily my other job entails helping people as it is and there are a myriad of small ways to help people / animals / vegetables / minerals around you every day. Just keep a beady eye out for opportunities. In order to selfishly make you feel better – mwah ha ha.
• The absurdities of life. E.g. I was on the bus and a little girl was barking like a dog, which set off an actual dog on the bus barking. Then she got off. Then a little boy came on meowing.
• ‘Splooting’ or ‘binkying’ . Splooting is the term for when a 4-legged animal, such as a dog, lies down but with its back legs out behind it. Binkying is when rabbits jump and twisting mid-air in weird formations, which apparently they only do when they’re really happy. Bit like watching a really drunk person try to morris dance.
• Period features (see earlier blog post).
• Watching my housemate dance. Not club style sexy dancing, but
  her improvised must interpret every word in the song dances. They’re epic.
• Chatting philosophical aspects of life with my Lewes-based mate. Pretty much ends up being free therapy for the both of us but with more laughs and caffeine.
• Depending on the room temperature, a really hot or really cold flannel draped over the face.
• Videos of my niece.
• Making future plans. Be it around holidays, a creative project or browsing job adds.

As noted above, some of these come with conditions attached so we need to note the ‘Variables’ that might affect the success rate of these endeavours.

Variables:

• Fickle felines
• Bad weather
• Lack of nearby dachshunds
• Housemate being out
• Lewes friend being busy

In addition to the above, we can also add the following:-

Things that I don’t always look forward to, but always feel better once I’ve done them:

• I look forward to it in principal, but the moment before I actually start is usually fraught with worry at what will come out. As large projects aren’t feasible time-wise at the moment, working on short blog posts would make most sense.
• Again time factor with the setup if using paints, especially oils, so maybe I could do a few sketches in pencil or pastels. Or chose a small piece of furniture to ‘do up’. Not keen on using the word ‘upcycle’. Aside from the associated trendiness, it also suggests an improvement on what the thing was before and I can’t always guarantee this.
• Refusing to snack on rubbish – this is the biggy. It turns out I’m a stress eater. I’m resolved to the fact that getting through this next month without sugary coffees isn’t realistic, but I don’t have to buy the popcorn as well. I feel better when I’m able to demonstrate at least an ounce of self-control.
• Long jogs aren’t doable, but I downloaded a 7 min workout app that I’ve been avoiding. It’s these short bursts of intense energy that hurts like a bitch, but you don’t half feel better afterwards. And that’s what I need to focus on.
• Gardening – now this I often do look forward to, but sometimes I make excuses if I’m feeling too tired so it’s gone into this list. Being outdoors (especially when this next month will see me in a box with no windows for most of it) is essential. So I must make the time. With the days getting longer, a small amount of de-weeding is workable.
• Now don’t misunderstand me, rest assured I do this regularly as it is. But feeling so sleepy in the mornings, I always put it off until I’m running late, and although it’s annoying and boring having to do it, I do always feel better after, feeling more refreshed and awake.

The key to the above actually being carried out is to log the difference in mood before and after the first few times, and then refer to that list when you’re still in the pre-task mode thereafter, to remind you how much better you’re going to feel if you do it.

So if we take our ‘SmileContent’ (SC), noting the ‘Variables’ (V) and add some of the above list, which we’ll call ‘MoodTasks’ (MT), noting the need for a ‘Log’ (L), and apply it to the current stress I’m feeling, I suppose we get something like this:

(SC / V) + (MT x L) = happy bunny

Then you simply implement a different ‘SmileContent’ and ‘MoodTask’ each day.

Worth a shot at least?

Oh and kettle of fish: kettle apparently doesn’t refer to the equipment we think of for boiling water, but a long saucepan to poach fish in. Not clear why it means a mess, but could be to do with the leftovers once fish has been eaten. It’s a mess of bones, head and skin – lovely. Or it doesn’t have to mean a mess; it can just refer to the state of affairs. And why that is akin to a pot of salmon, no one knows. So that was a waste of a Google. Or more aptly, searching for a kettle of fish turned out to be a fine kettle of fish. Or to put it another way:

“Search”:[
{
“GoogleSearch”:”Kettle of Fish Origins”,
“chapterPages”:[Wikipedia]
{
“pageTitle”:”Origins of Phrase”,
“storyContent”:[Inconclusive]
{
“contentType”:”text”,
“content”:”No one knows”
}
],
“transitions”:[
{
“transitionText”:”Well that was a waste of time”,
“transitionTarget”:”F**K’s sake.”